Reese’s Best Friend

I have been writing this post in my head for a long time. I’m so glad I finally am writing it down.

I moved around a lot as a kid. I think I once counted over ten moves in 13 years. Sometimes it was fun to move. I got excited over a new house, new room, new neighborhood to ride my bike around. However, looking back, I never really had a best friend. I got the obligatory invitations to birthday parties for kids my age at our church. I received Valentines from other kids in my class not because they wanted to give me one, but because their parents made them give one to everyone in the class. I never really had friend to invite over to play.

It all came to a head in the sixth grade. I started middle school and had to eat lunch alone because I had no one to sit with. I begged my older sister, who was much more popular than me, to allow me to sit at her table at lunch. She refused, and I don’t blame her. I was a bit of an annoying little freckle-faced dork. I used to use my lunch money to buy candy from the vending machines and give out candy to people in my next class of the day to try to make friends. It didn’t work.

As a result, I chose to be home-schooled my seventh-grade year to avoid any further humiliation. I just felt like I never quite fit in anywhere, and most particularly with anyone. I believe these experiences from my childhood shaped the person I am today. I am loud and outgoing because I had to be. If I was quiet and reserved we would move again before I ever got anyone to notice I was there. I come on strong and I make friends pretty easily now, but not usually close friends. I put up walls.

In high school I finally made a group of friends through my performing company, Starmakers. At first we were friends purely because we saw each other so often. We remain friends to this day. Still, as close as I felt to these girls, I always felt like I was on the outskirts of the group, barely included in the circle. It felt like I was the third wheel, always.

Something I never expected in my adult life was to make such close friends. If I couldn’t do it in my youth, why would it be possible as an adult? Besides, I always believed that your spouse should be your best friend, so you don’t need other close friends, right?

Wrong!

Some of the best friendships I have made have been in the years since I got married. My need for a female perspective and advice has grown exponentially since I have had a family of my own. And while Mark is still my best friend, I love that I have women I can talk to as well.

I want to talk about one friendship in particular. When we moved to the bay area about 4 years ago, I had a rough time. I didn’t know a soul except my husband and his family. I never thought I would love it here or make friends here. More than once I had a break-down and told Mark I just wanted to move back to Utah. I started putting up walls and for a long time I didn’t know the names of more than five people in our ward.

About two years ago, someone in my ward asked me to take photos of her small family (her son was about Reese’s age). This was not unusual. I had put the word out that I was trying to grow as a photographer and if anyone wanted their photos taken for free to just ask me. She did and we went met up for a shoot. The photos turned out pretty mediocre if you ask me, I was not the photographer then that I am now, but after that this woman and I always chatted at our ward’s park day. The wall had been broken down just a bit.

After awhile, this woman began to call me out of the blue sometimes. She and I made plans to go to the Gilroy outlet mall together to shop. She asked me to join a small Friday playgroup that was starting for people with kids born around the same time as ours. She joined my gym and we started carpooling there together.

I wondered at times, what does this woman want from me?! It seemed to good to be true that she would just want to to be my friend. She seemed to have a lot of friends, why did she need me?

I give her credit entirely for our early friendship. She sought me out. I can never thank her enough. There have been times when I felt like I would disappear from adult society if it were not from her. There has been more than one occasion that she has watched my child for me simply because I couldn’t handle being a mom that day. And while we are very different people, she inspires me to try harder, to be better, to stretch further.

This particular friend is now facing a life-changing trial. When I found out, I cried for days. I wished I could take it away. I wondered how on earth I would be able to help her get through it. I still feel helpless. She is strong. Stronger than I could ever be in the same situation. Being in such close proximity to her has made me realize how much more I need to grow before I will have the strength and faith to face the trials I am sure Heavenly Father has in store for me.

People we both know have recently started coming to me asking what they can do to help her. They ask me because they know we are close. It only hit me then how close we are. I know that I could ask her for anything and she would be there for me. I hope I can do the same for her, especially now.

I always say that her son is Reese’s best friend. I guess his mommy is my best friend too.

To Xfinity and beyond!

I have written a few times about companies I love (Amazon, Netflix, Monoprice, etc.), but one that I really, really hate is Comcast.  I would love to tell you the massive headache that I, a self-admitted geek and nerd, have had just trying to get internet and cable TV set up with them.  I really can’t understand how they haven’t been sued out of existence.  They have repeatedly lied to me, stolen from me, and made what should be an easy and painless process an absolute nightmare.  Because of idiotic government-backed monopolies, I don’t have much a choice in my current location except to use them.  They were voted the second worst company in America behind the formidable AIG, so I’m sure that I am not the only one having problems.

So what do you do when your brand name is synonymous with human excrement?  Rebrand!  Starting soon, many Comcast products such as their cable TV and internet “solutions” will be under the name ‘Xfinity’.  That’s not a joke.  Xfinity.  Of course they will have to spend tens of millions of dollars advertising and marketing that new brand name instead of, say, spending it on customer support or improving their lousy product.  So if there are any other Comcast Xfinity customers out there, shed a tear with me every time you see one of their terrible advertisements announcing it.  Your service just got even worse.

9 Weeks and Counting…

Here we are, 9 weeks in. I still can’t believe how fast the weeks are flying by and how much my little baby has grown. No matter how often people tell you this will happen, you never can quite understand it until it happens to you. The first year of your baby’s life feels like it passes by at an alarming rate. The days slip by, one after another, and you desperately try to hold on to each moment. Sadly, with second (and I’m sure third, fourth, and fifth) babies, you don’t have the luxury of savoring every moment as much as you do the first time. I feel like I’m simply surviving right now- we are a long way from thriving. The laundry is never completed, Reese is often ignored, and my body is a long way from being “in shape”.

Still, there are moments from time to time when I seem to have a flash of clarity. I come up for air and realize I am holding a baby that is growing so fast while I have hardly had time to notice. I’m startled for a second to see that she is a little person rather than an unchanging fixture in my life that happens to cry sometimes. She won’t be a baby forever.  I realize in that moment how important it is for me to hold her, just 5 minutes longer. How vital it is that I leave the dishes in the sink, fail to put away the laundry, and ignore the ring of my phone. I smile at her, and she grins back. I watch her eyelids get heavy as she drifts off to sleep. I brush her cheek and squeeze her just a little closer and thank my lucky stars that I get to be her mom.

Then the dog barks, the oven timer goes off, and Reese cries out for help, and I am once again whisked off into the chaos that is my life. I live for those moments. I try to take a mental picture, attempting to remember them. Trying to hold onto the way she smells, and the way her eyes light up when she smiles, and the texture of her almost-bald head. But mental pictures fade. So hopefully the digital kind will help me remember…

Slice of Life-Big Girl Bed!

We are transitioning Reese to a big girl bed. Zoe is going to need a crib soon and Reese is almost three, so the time has come. I have been dreading this transition for months now, thinking it would be this awful experience full of repeatedly putting Reese back in bed at night and Reese not napping during the day. It must be done though. So this weekend we took the side rail off her crib to test the waters. So far Reese has not gotten out of bed once and she has gone to sleep the same as she always has. Yay! However, she has not had to try napping in the big girl bed yet, she never naps on Sundays because we have 1pm church. We will see how the napping goes tomorrow…

She seems to be enjoying the whole concept of a big girl bed and sometimes climbs up on it to look at books or pretend to go “night night”. Let’s hope the novelty does not wear off.

What Really Matters

Something happened today. Something sad and unfair and completely unexpected. A good friend lost their child with no warning.

I’m still reeling.

I got the news and, after reading the e-mail three times, I called my little girl to me and held her close. I have not been the nicest or most positive person lately. I yell often, I complain frequently, and I always seem to find the bad in every situation instead of the good.

At that moment I regretted it all. How can I complain even for a moment?

I held Reese and cried. I couldn’t be more grateful for my life and the people I get to share it with. Those people deserve to see that through my actions and not just my words. I only get so long with my children and husband in this life. I had better make it count.

iPad

For anyone living in a cave, Apple announced their newest creation today, the iPad. It’s rather convenient to call it simply an iPod Touch XXL, but I think it’s a lot more than that. Admittedly, I am an unabashed Apple fan, and I’m pretty darn excited about the iPad.

It seems that a number of geeky people on the Web aren’t thrilled about it and think it will flop. Of course, a lot of these people laughed when the iPhone was announced, pointing out flaws here and there and scoffing that Apple could possibly compete against Blackberries and other smartphones. Apple sure changed that perception quick enough, turning the smartphone market on its head and leaving other smartphone creators scrambling to play catch-up.

My personal opinion is that the iPhone was such an amazing success in a tough marketplace for one often overlooked reason: the user interface. It is incredibly intuitive and was leaps and bounds beyond anything else at the time. I have seen two-year olds navigate it with ease to launch an alphabet game. Meghan’s previous phone was the very popular Razr and the terrible interface constantly baffled her, but the iPhone essentially had no learning curve when she got one.

Doubters online are complaining about the lack of specific features, but none of them even mention how much of the emphasis from Apple has been on the apparently incredible user interface, one that millions of iPhone and iPod Touch owners will already know how to use.

Will I buy an iPad right away? Probably not. But it doesn’t keep me from drooling over it. Here’s why:

• User interface.  I want something that doesn’t require a mouse or complicated menus.  They made it dead simple and I love them for it.
• Reading.  I have a Kindle and love it.  But the convenience of a reading device that also handles my email, web browsing, video playback, etc. is very tempting.  I am worried about eye-strain though.
• Battery life.  10 hours of heavy use?  One month of standby?  Incredible.
• Sitting usage.  I have never felt comfortable using a laptop on my lap.  I always find myself putting it on a table or desk.  The iPad will solve that problem I hope.
• Speed.  Netbooks run a more full-fledged OS, which certainly has its uses.  But I would much prefer to have a device that is light, portable and performs extremely well for everything it does than to have a swiss army knife that chugs along.
• Bluetooth connectivity.  A really good universal remote for home theatre systems will cost you a few hundred dollars.  There is no reason the iPad couldn’t have an app to do it for $10.

That being said, I really wish it had a couple more features:

• iTunes sync over wi-fi.  It’s a bit ridiculous that I still have to use a cable to sync.
• No front-facing camera for video chat.  I want to sit on the couch at my office and video chat with my family at home.  It seems like the perfect device for that, aside from not having a camera at all.
• Regular USB port.  Sometimes you make me very sad, Apple.

Slice of Life: Splish-Splash

We sure love bath-time around here…