Enjoying the Journey

So lately I’ve been thinking that there is some truth to that idea that mothers and their children are connected on some level for the rest of their lives. Have you ever heard a mother say that they had a bad feeling and when they checked on their kids, they were in trouble? Maybe I’m not making any sense. So let me explain what I’ve noticed over the last few weeks. At first I thought it was all in my head, but now I’m beginning to think it’s true.

So I’ll be hanging out at my apartment and I’ll notice that Reese hasn’t made a peep in a really long time, so I go in to check on her (translation= I miss her and I tip-toe in to watch her sleep:)). I won’t make a sound. I barely breathe! She’ll have been sound asleep before, but the moment I peer into her crib, her eyes suddenly pop open. Or she will suddenly smile in her sleep. Almost like she knows I’m there.

Or I will be in the kitchen, and I’ll look at the clock. I’ll notice that she’s been sleeping forever. Just as I wonder if she’s ok, I hear her waking up.

At night, I will be sound asleep, and I’ll wake up and look at the clock and wonder why she hasn’t woken up to be fed yet. Then all of the sudden, as if she can read my mind, she wakes up. It’s weird.

So maybe moms and their children share a special bond, formed from those long months of pregnancy. Maybe I will always have this connection to my little girl. It’s a nice thought. That I have something with my daughter that no one else will ever have. This special language only we speak. I’ll have to remember to tell her about this someday when she’s grown. About how in the beginning we used to talk to each other without words:)

Praise the Lord for baby swings and vibrating bouncy chairs!

I was pretty sure that I could handle anything this little bundle could dish out. I mean I’ve been around babies my whole life! How hard could it be? She’s so little and cute. What could she possibly do that I couldn’t handle? I’ve read the books. I’ve babysat. I felt fully prepared to be a Mom. I thought that I would be able to fix whatever was wrong with her when she cried. I thought I would know exactly what she needed. Let’s just say I was a little cocky. Plus, I was positive that she would be a “good baby”, whatever that means…

Boy was I was wrong.

I’m completely stumped. The last few days have been very eye-opening. Reese might have colic. Well, that’s the only reason I can think of for the hours of fussiness and crying that I can’t seem to fix, no matter what I do. She has been starting to cry in the middle of feedings and squirming and jerking around and crying even louder when I try to burp her. Very few things seem to help. One of them being her vibrating chair, which I am so grateful for! Even when she’s not crying in what seems like pain, she is rather fussy almost the entire rest of the day. What happened to my sweet calm newborn? I look to my stack of child-rearing books for answers. We are doing everything we are supposed to. And still my little Reese doesn’t ever seem to just be a quiet and happy baby. Is this a phase? How long might this go on? I’m a little worried to be honest…

Whew! What a weekend! We had a total of 6 people and 2 dogs sleeping in our teeny apartment for a night this last weekend, if that tells you anything. We were lucky enough to have have my little sister Kellee come stay with us from Thursday until Sunday. And my friends from Utah, Randi and Laura, came and stayed overnight on Thursday night also. We also had the Cobi-dog come stay with us while my in-laws are in South Africa. Needless to say, it was a full house, and a lot of fun!

Thursday- Kellee arrived in the morning and then Randi and Laura in the afternoon. We decided to go to San Francisco for the day since Laura had never been. We went to Pier 39 and had some fabulous Boudin’s sourdough bread bowls and clam chowder. We walked around and checked out the shops and watched the sea lions. We finished out the trip with some Ben and Jerry’s and headed home. I was surprised by how good Reese was! She was either sleeping or quietly hanging out in the baby bjorn (Kellee wore it any time we went anywhere this weekend. She needed her baby fix:)).

The only catch was that she had to be moving. If we stopped walking at all, then she would start to fuss. She’s definitely a girl on the move!

After the trip to San Francisco we hung out at my apartment and watched my current favorite show…”So You Think You Can Dance”. And Randi and I reminisced about our dancing days. Good Times. Then we said our goodbyes because they were leaving in the early morning hours for their drive to Portland for the rest of their trip. I feel so special that they drove so far out of their way to come visit me and baby Reese. I can’t wait to take a trip to Utah and introduce Reese to the rest of my best girlfriends:).

Friday- Reese and I introduced Kellee to Ikea for the first time. I have to take anyone who has never been before when they come to visit because I freakin’ love that store! Then we went to the mall to window shop. I just love my sister. It was so nice to have someone to just hang out with for a few days. I miss my sisters being nearby. Luckily I have awesome sister-in-laws nearby:).
We finished the day with Kellee giving Reesey a bath. She promptly pooped in the bathwater, hehe. Luckily I had the video camera rolling at the time. That will be one we show her future boyfriends for sure!

Saturday- We took Reese to the beach for the first time!!! Mark, Kellee, Reese, myself and two doggos made the drive down to Carmel to play at the beach and stroll through the town. If you haven’t read my earlier posts you may have missed my post about Valentines Day in Carmel this year. We just love it there. So it was a perfect place to take Reese for her first time. Too bad it was a little chilly, and too bad she slept through the whole thing! But we still had fun throwing a stick for the dogs and using the BOB on our trek through town!

That night Reese’s sleeping marathon continued as we went out to dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant-Gumba’s. I was beginning to think something was wrong with her she had slept so much. She was probably just so tired from being dragged around town all weekend!

Sunday- Mark’s first Father’s Day! I wanted to make it really special for him, but it was hard to put something together with all the visitor’s this weekend. In the end I planned on making him breakfast in bed. But my plans were ruined when he got up shortly after me and wouldn’t go back to bed:(. I still made muffins and smoothies, he just didn’t get them in bed. Reese and I went to church for the first time since she was born. We only stayed for the first hour though. She was pretty fussy. We spent the day in pajamas relaxing. Reese wore a special t-shirt I bought just for the occasion. It said “I *heart* Daddy” with a rainbow on the front and on the back it said “*heart* me”.

Auntie Kellee even watched Reese for us for a few hours so we could take a nap. Man, I’m going to miss having her around. I didn’t have to change any diapers all weekend and I finally had both hands free all day because Kellee held her all the time except for when she needed feeding:) She went home that evening and Mark and my house was quiet again, well, relatively speaking…

As for Reese, she’s getting BIG! I still can’t believe how fast she is growing. She already looks so different now than when she was born. I’m finally starting to get the hang of things. I’m learning her different cries, and her schedule. But it seems like just when I start to get it down, she changes on me again. Today, she suddenly went for 4 hour stretches between feedings all day. Why? Who knows? But she definitely needs her sleep during the day or she gets VERY cranky! Today I put together her mobile and hung it over her bassinet. She loved it! She was totally zoned out watching it and kept smiling and kicking her little legs. I took pictures but they don’t really do it justice.

Hopefully this week we’ll get her crib. I’m dying to get her in the routine of falling asleep in her crib and hopefully she’ll get used to it early and sleeping in it won’t be a problem at all.

As for me, I am starting to exercise again. I’m especially excited for my first dance technique class in 4 years this Wednesday night. I’m also busy with some freelance work, and keeping our apartment clean and laundry done. Plus, I’m helping throw my sil a baby shower in a couple of weeks. I’m keeping busy. I’m grateful to have gotten this far now without feeling anything resembling post-partum depression. I thought for sure I would feel some mood swings and hormonal roller coasters. But things couldn’t be better. I almost feel more sane now than before I was pregnant! So fingers crossed that this emotional high will continue.

I’m just really content with my life right now. I was so excited to have a baby of our own, and it’s turning out to be everything I hoped it would be and more. I have a fantastic husband who I love even more now that he offers to hold Reese when she’s fussy and changes her poopies:). I love when he gets her ready in the morning, and lets me have a few extra hours of sleep. I love when he wants to be the one to push her in the stroller. I love when he calls her funny nicknames and laughs with me at her funny faces. The best part is, in addition to all that, he still takes the time to show me how much he loves me. Life couldn’t be sweeter.

I can’t believe it’s been 2 weeks already since Reese was born! I don’t feel like she’s been here that long. It’s strange how practically the last year of my life was spent in a count-down mode, waiting for Reese to be born. And now that she’s here, one day melts into the next and time flies without my being aware of it. It’s a bit bittersweet really. I am enjoying this time so much, and I’m sad to see each day end, because it means she is another day older and bigger. Before I know it she won’t even be a baby anymore. I know, I’m jumping the gun a little bit here. She is still very much a newborn. I will just be sad to see this time in my life be gone. I love that I can focus all my attention on her, and enjoy every moment, because she is our only baby. When we have our next child I will have my hands too full to savor it like I can now. So I hope I can find a way to make time slow a bit, just for now.

So here’s what’s new in our family…

Reese had her 2 week check up today. She is perfectly healthy and growing like a weed. She weighed in at 9 lbs 2 oz. She is going to be a little chub, that’s for sure. She has settled into a feeding schedule of roughly every 3-4 hours, except for when she feels like being kind to her tired Mommy and sleeps for 4 1/2 hours stretches at night sometimes. Her hair is already growing, as well as her finger nails, which I am too scared to cut so she has to wear mittens so she won’t scratch herself. She has the hiccups at least 3 times day, poor thing.

Mark is getting the hang of this whole “Daddy” thing. I have to constantly remind myself not to just take her off his hands every time she fusses so she doesn’t bother him. I have to let him figure things out or he’ll never know what to do when she cries. He is so good with her though and I’m so proud of him for maintaining his sense of humor in rough situations and despite lack of sleep. I especially love it when he dresses her for the day. You never know what she’ll end up wearing when he does the picking:)

As for me, I’ve made a fantastic recovery and I really feel, for the most part, myself again. It’s nice to not have the belly in the way anymore. And it’s nice to be comfortable sleeping/sitting/ect. I am famished most of the time, probably from breast-feeding. I fit into my clothes again! It’s so great to be able to wear most of the things in my closet for the first time in months! I am looking forward to working out and getting in shape as soon as my doctor gives me the go ahead at my post-baby exam in 2 weeks. I’ve missed running, but I know it will be difficult to get my endurance back up. I can’t wait. For now, Reese and I are taking walks around the neighborhood enjoying the beautiful bay area weather.

We are looking forward to lots of visitors in the next month. My sister Kellee is coming for a few days in mid-June, My Dad will be here for a day on the 21st of June. And finally my sister-in-law and her husband are coming at the beginning of July. I can’t wait for everyone to see baby Reese, especially while she is so little:)

So here’s the play-by-play of our first week with little Reesey. Read more »